Connecting and being closed off. How to balance this.

Connecting and being closed off. How to balance this.

I struggle each day with how much I should connect with others and how closed off I should be.

For example, I just started wearing my sunglasses again. I love sunglasses because I am very sensitive to light with blue eyes but I don’t like how it is a barrier to connecting to people. So I made a choice not to wear them in the past because then I could better connect to others when I wore them.

So why did I start wearing the sunglasses again? The light in my commute was very difficult and it was causing me eye problems and discomfort. I clearly need to do a better job in protecting my vision so it is not an option to wear sunglasses for me unfortunately.

Another choice I face is wearing headphones. I have worn the Apple Airpods and they make commuting more interesting by listening to music, but on the other hand they close me to opportunities to be friendly and talk to people. Since most NY subway riders prefer silence I respect that, but I still have on occasion spoken to people on my commute. I am strongly considering buying noise cancelling earbuds since the subway can be quite noisy in operation.

Another choice about being closed off or open is my email address. I have it on my LinkedIn profile because I believe in making connections. I have seen that many times we miss opportunities because we can’t communicate with those who can help us. One of the wishes I had with LinkedIn is that they stop playing games and just make everyone reachable. I know this would be a privacy nightmare, but anyone who abused this would be kicked out and face some kind of legal action. Right now it is another game of the have and have nots.

I sometimes have sales people contact me and want to offer services to people I work with. In the past I have helped them but no longer. I had a bad experience of a saleperson who I tried to help and it backfired on me. So now salespeople are the enemy since that salesperson wanted to make the relationship antagonistic. I didn’t choose this that saleperson did. If someone abuses my help the entire category of people will suffer.

We all have to find what is worth our time to take a chance on. Good luck!

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