How other people treat you is 100% their responsibility
A difficult lesson to learn in life is that how other people treat you is 100% their responsibility.
Most people feel bad when others treat them badly. They think that they are treated badly because somehow they offended the other person, or they aren’t a good enough person. What I have learned that is that how others treat you has nothing to do with who you are inside.
I have had some people who treated me badly in my life. As we all have. The reason I am sharing this is to show that at first I believed them, but with time I came to understand that they were hurt and thats why they hurt others.
One of the first things that hurt me was the idea that I wasn’t good enough. I struggled with this for a long time. Like most people, I thought that because I had weaknesses that I wasn’t worthy of being loved. I can see now that I never had a foundation of self-acceptance then that would have allowed me to love who I was.
The older I became the wiser I grew. I learned to see other peoples statements as about themselves and not about me. Even well-meaning people hurt others with their unrealized judgements they make about others. I had well-intentioned people try to “give me feedback” and it was all about how they were feeling and not really about me.
I don’t give other people feedback. If someone asks me what they can do to improve then I will suggest what I think may help, but I never give unasked for feedback. I learned my lesson long ago.
The bottom line in relationships is how people treat you. What actions do they take with you? Even if you provoke people, fundamentally every person has to own their own reactions and responsibility. How you view yourself should always be with compassion and love because you will find in life few people will have the compassion and love for you. Those who do, treasure and thank them for their kindness.
- Forgiving David Hester
- Sick doctors returning to work struggle with feelings of shame and failure, researchers find
- Let mean people go
- When is someone “good enough”?
- Talking or emailing? Which works best for you?