People say they want honesty but they only want confirmation
People say they want honesty but they only want confirmation.
This isn’t a problem, just something to be aware of when they ask your advice. Once I was asked advice on what to buy. I gave my thoughts and the person did the exact opposite. So I never gave advice to her again. People are free to choose whatever they want, but don’t ask for advice to ignore it.
I have experienced that when people ask me for advice they really want to hear that they should do whatever they want to do. When I have suggested a different point of view, or a thoughtful consideration of their situation, 100% of the time it has been ignored. I don’t think anyone has ever listened to any advice they asked of me. Does this mean I give bad advice? Perhaps. There is a saying however. “Even a fool is right by chance.” I couldn’t have been wrong every-time, so it clearly isn’t me that is the problem here.
Being honest means that when you hear something you don’t want to hear you consider it. I am not anyones therapist, but I stopped giving advice when people ask me. I ask them back “Are you prepared to hear something you don’t want to hear?” Their response shows me everything I need to know. People are not ready for change until they can’t find they can’t bear their reality any more.
It is incredible really. People will deny reality and what is a concrete thing in front of their face, just as hard as those on drugs. They will ignore logic, intuition, wisdom, and their heart to hide from what they don’t want to hear. If anything, human beings have an incredible ability to live in an irrational way.
You see this in real life and on the Internet. People are disconnected from themselves. No wonder they are disconnected with each other.
- Unsolicited advice-Don’t do it
- Don’t give unsolicited advice
- Ignore what people say, pay attention to what people do
- Happiness comes from hearing what is difficult to hear
- Compassion fatigue is real