Isn’t it interesting how often experts are called in to try to answer questions? The most hotly contested things often don’t have much evidence to support a decision either way. Yet, the media and we personally try to find an “expert” who agrees with us to bolster our fragile opinion. Rarely does data exist in which you can make a clear factual decision.
So I came to realize that one way to avoid responsibility is by believing experts. I have noticed so many websites that tell you how to dress, what to buy, and what your values in live should be. I find this most curious. The process of finding your own values and philosophy comes as we make decisions and mistakes in judgement. It doesn’t seem clear why we should parrot someone else’s choices or values. One of the things that I realized in life is to not condemn or convert. My values are just mine. I don’t need to validate them by seeking to find others who agree with me.
For example one of my values is the value of life. As important as the physical life is, it is equally important to pay attention to a persons emotional and spiritual life. It isn’t my responsibility or even right to tell someone how they should live their life. In the past, based on the well-meaning intentions of those around me, I thought that I could help people by helping them see their own confusions in life. However what I have learned is that often those confusions are purposeful, intentional, and a necessary defense. People will not change until they are ready to change.
Don’t misunderstand this and think that I don’t care about others. I do care about others. However when you love someone you help them when they ask you. You don’t give unsolicited advice and make them feel inadequate to handle their life. This has worked very well for me in my life. The moment I stopped trying to help and just listened, my entire relationship with others changed and for the better. Just something for you to think about.