How to be gracious in 10 easy steps

How to be gracious in 10 easy steps
Accept (album)

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Not that I am an expert, but I wanted to share some things that I have learned from others.

  1. People have worth no matter their specific skills and how you compete with them. It is true that you may be better in some things than others are, but it is equally true they are better in some things than you. So unless you are prepared to extensively interview someone, don’t you think it’s a little presumptuous to assume you are a better/smarter/prettier person?
  2. Life is difficult for most people. Don’t take what other people do personally. If someone hurts you then acknowledge that in yourself, and remove yourself from the situation if you feel it is required. Otherwise, accept that other people make mistakes and that you will sometimes bear the burden of those mistakes unfairly.
  3. Don’t expect things. So much of our pain and anger stems from the feeling that you can’t control your life. You can control parts of your life, but not everything. So when things don’t work out, that’s ok, because often they work out better than we expect. Don’t expect that any hard work you do will pay off. Sometimes you get laid off, divorced or hurt when it isn’t your fault. Sometimes people just hurt others instead of dealing with the hurt inside themselves.
  4. Be larger than the situation you are in. In every situation, we have a choice to be controlled by events, or to accept and control our attitude and response. Victor Frankel a holocaust survivor said “He who has a why to live, can bear almost any how.” Have a why and purpose to live, and the other things will just let go.
  5. Find love, kindness, forgiveness, empathy whenever possible. Many times in life you have difficult situations, but when you focus on difficult things your ability to make peace with them decreases. Life is a balance, so remember to focus on your passions and the things that make you feel alive and bring you happiness.
  6. Accept your luggage. We all come into the world with some luggage that keeps us from expressing everything we want to feel. We can be so happy, but we have to unpack and look at beliefs and ideas to see if they are helping our hurting us. This takes time, and the bravest and most noble people eventually do this.
  7. Allow yourself to have fun. Life has plenty of responsibilities, but it is all about balance. If you work hard, then play hard. If you need fun, then have fun. Spend time doing things that help you to grow, so you don’t become a shell of a person.
  8. Challenge yourself to grow. I am big into growing, even though I feel good with the person I am. A famous quote goes “Who is not being busy growing is busy dying.” Don’t forget you are more like a plant than a rock.
  9. It’s ok to make mistakes. Being human means that you are going to misunderstand and do the wrong thing.  The more that you can accept yourself and your own mistakes, the more you can accept mistakes in others.
  10. Listen to your inner voice. Whenever you hear something, ask yourself it is really true in your life or just easy to believe. Challenge everything, or else you are just a robot that has been programmed by family/society.

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